Another pinch-blogger: Hunter Pence!

Hello, everyone. This is Hunter Pence filling in for Brandon Hicks, or Brandon Crawford, or Brandon Belt, whoever’s turn it is supposed to be.

I’m filling in because — you probably didn’t know this — Hunter is a nickname for Brandon.

My middle name is Andrew, which is Swedish for Brandon. And Pence is English for Brandon. So my actual name is Brandon Brandon Brandon.

You also probably didn’t know that “Tim Lincecum’’ is Dutch for Brandon.

Buster is a nickname for Brandon. Pablo is Spanish for Brandon. Pagan is Puerto Rican for Brandon. Madison is Southern for Brandon. “Bumgarner’’ is — I have no idea what that is. I think it’s Arabic for Brandon.

Pretty much everyone is Brandon. We’re Team Brandon.

Kruk and Kuip have got to get with the program. Brandon’s throwing the pitch to Brandon. When anybody steps into the box, Brandon’s up to bat. The double play combo is Brandon to Brandon to Brandon. (Wait, they already call that one.)

So now if you yell “Brandon,’’  you’ll get everybody’s attention. We’ll all respond because we all became Brandon when the third Brandon arrived. We’re a unit. When we take the field we’re a family of Brandons.

The original Brandons still have some privileges. They have their own really cool handshake. It’s the patty-cake chest-bump Brandon. You need to check that out. (We new Brandons don’t get to do the handshake.)

You might notice the originals all have beards. Beards are part of the ancestral tradition of Brandon-dom.

The rest of us Brandons who also have beards are doing this to honor the Brandon history. Pagan, with his beard, is clearly honoring his Brandon-ness. Posey has not yet matured enough for a beard. He’s still a Baby Brandon.

The original Brandons are all in the same hitting group, which is called, of course, Team Brandon. Buster’s in that group and Timmy. My hitting group is called Laser Swag: Morse, Arias, Perez, Vogelsong and Hudson. It’s a name we all agreed on. The other one is Pablo’s group, called La Guerilla. I think it means gangster or army in Spanish. Or maybe it means Brandon.

-Hunter P.

95 Comments

This won’t do, Hunter. You clearly need your OWN blog. You feel it; you know it. We all know it. This NEEDS to happen. You won’t rest until it does.

I loved this! I was laughing the whole time reading it :) pence should get his own blog ! :)

So, next week when my students and I are out on the field singing the National Anthem I can just yell out, “hey Brandon” and everyone will look our way”?
I agree with the SF Giants – get a blog Hunter! I’ll help you set it up (said the choir director)

Awesome. The more Brandons, the better. In fact, if I were a boy I’d probably learn that my name means Brandon in Cantonese or something.

“The patty-cake chest-bump Brandon handshake.” LOL! Hi, Hunter “Brandon” Pence! Welcome to the forum! :0) Go get ‘em tonight! We’ll see you in an hour!

Hunter your not a pinch hitter so you shouldn’t be a pinch blogger, you simply are too awesome and need your own ! :)

The Brandons’ blog is fab, but Hunter needs to have his own blog! Lets rock the Dbacks tonight & take the series.

Very clever, Hunter.

Brandon, you’re crazy! And I love it!

Digging the Brandon-Mania but you definitely need your own blog too! So happy the Giants are back and kickin some a**.

Next time I go to the game I’m going to yell Brandon to see if you turn! This is too funny. Brandon is a good name!

This was awesome, just what I needed to read after a (very) long day at work. I couldn’t stop laughing. Thank Hunter…uh, I mean Brandon. 😁

Haha! love your sense of humor, Brandon Pence! Good luck tonight!

Hilarious. Great blogging Brandon Brandon Brandon… ROFLMAO

Loved this Hunter/Brandon! You clearly need your very own blog!

I think I just peed a little bit, laughing so hard. Thank you for making a crappy day at work have a wonderful ending. Gotta go, I’m watching the game of Brandons.
Here’s to a winning season.

“Brance” you rock!!!! LOL :D

I met a guy from Philly at wedding right after you were traded to the Giants. I asked him if I was going to like you. He told me I’d love you. He was right.

Thanks for the laughs Brandon Brandon Brandon! Love you Pence!

Alright, Brandons, Laser Swag, and La Guerilla, let’s win! Love, love, love, the SF GIANTS!

Just piling on here to say that “Brance” (aka the “Swedish/English Brandon”) MUST HAVE his own blog!

Let us pray to gods of mlblogs.com that it happen… SOON!

Hi Hunter — you are so funny! I enjoyed reading ….

Best Brandon yet

The San Francisco Brandons.

Brandolicious!!

McCovey Cove is in the Brandon Bay.

Freaking hilarious. My nephew’s name is Brandon so maybe he’s part of this!!

Omgosh…laughed so much, or was it the two glasses of wine I had with my kale dinner. Welcome Brandon the 4th. 4breeeeezs….Go Giants!!!!!!

Probably one of the funniest things I’ve read in a while! I was giggling game two against the Dodgers because I kept saying “It took three Brandon’s to get out a Puig!” Hilarious stuff! Keep it up boys! Love it!

Thank you good laugh at end of my day n listening to game. Cant afford cable right now. Im so glad youre a Gman. Or is it Bman

i read this too late. i should’ve named my son Brandon HEHEHE!!!! love you Brandon Pence!!!

Ah, you got me going, believing you, until the “Tim Lincecum”!

Thanks for the fun post, Hunter, hope you pinch hit here when you can! Keep up the good work you have done here since coming over in trade, I can barely remember a time where you weren’t around, seems like you have been here forever already!

Glad the team was able to re-sign you and keep you around for a long time, you have been a great breath of fresh air for our franchise, as well as a great overall player, I’m still amazed by how many bases you stole last season! And now you are doing great on defense, you can do it all now!

Brandon4!! (aka Hunter P.) loving this!!LoLOL I can feel the Brandon love just seeping through! !! Together. ..we are Brandon…those I might have trouble with thebeard being female and all…LOL love you guys!

Hilarious! Had a great laugh reading this. Hope Hunter can pinch-blog and update us on the “Game of Brandons”! :D

You need to blog, too.

I love me some Hunter Pence…I mean Brandon Brandon. Awesome blog – you need your own!

And we’re your Brandon fans. You’re right it’s in the family. The family name is Brandon. I’m Grandma Brandon Mary and love all my Brandons. This is a very BIG Brandon Family. We’re with you guys all the way, everyday. Here’s a Brandon hug.
I love your post/blog. <3

Thanks for the morning giggle…nice job, but I agree you need your own blog…just sayin!

Best thing I’ve ever read. Hunter (Brandon), you need your own blog.

Hilarious post, thanks! Love, Brandon

Oh my goodness! Hunter – oops, I mean Brandon! – you make me laugh!!!! I love it! You guys are treating this blog exactly how it should be – with fun! Keep it up! And please, guest blog anytime!!! :-)

Brandon Brandon, Brandon Brandon, Brandon, Brandon Brandon Brandon, Brando. Brandon branded Brandon’s Brandon. Brand Brandon brands Branson’s Brandon Brandon. Brandon, Brandon Brandon Baby Brandon.

Love the blog, no matter who is wrting it! you guys all crack me up! oh and I love the Socks, just so classic! Everybody is right, you do need your own blog!

The Giants need to sell t-shirts that say “My Name is Brandon”. I’d buy it and wear it!

Hunter, you are great. You need your own “Brandon Blog”.

A+

I reread this blog three times it is so funny! I love the one and only Brandon Brandon Brandon (code name: Hunter Pence)

Hilarious Hunter Brandon Pence. You have a knack for writing. Need your own blog. Thanks for the entertainment. You are a great ball player lucky for us you are a SF Giant b

I laughed and laughed and really enjoyed reading the Brandon Blog!! Hunter you are a great addition to this Blog! Thanks for all the laughs.

THIS is why you are my favorite Giant! I love your positivity and sense of humor. Thank you for the laugh!

I agree with the masses…”Brandon” needs his own blog. LOL Loved the fill-in, dear Hunter (trying to resist calling you “Underpants”…hard, so hard. So beloved to me by that name). :)

This wasn’t funny at all. Talk about the games Pence.

In the animal kingdom, if I remember my zoology: species Brandon, phyla Brandon
family Brandon. Characteristics, play baseball at a very high level

Hi Hunter-Brandon! That was an awesome display of pinch-blogging prowess. I liked it so much, in fact, that I’m going to make you a birthday sign when I come to Sunday’s game :-) I haven’t seen the Giants in person since I experienced Candlestick as a freezing, windblown girl. See you Sunday :-)

This is so funny my family all talked about renaming Pablo Brandon last night!!! Hey on a side note Brandon Lincecum needs to shave his bad luck stache!

LOL!!!! Thank you so much for giving me something to laugh about. Loved it and it made my Friday! GO GIANTS!!!

One of the funniest things I’ve ever read! When is the Hunter Pence blog starting??

this is my favorite thing that has ever happened. well done, brandon.

Hey pence all the Brandons are hitting higher than .150 … you should join that club before you join this one

LOL!!! You made my Friday Brandon da4th..HAHAHA Buster the Baby Brandon…hahaha..still laughing out loud here..:)

LOL!!! TEAM BRANDON! LOVE IT! SO, when you hear “Team Brandon” from my kids, please acknowledge them. lol!! They are LAUGHING like crazy over this addition to the blog. HUMMM BABY!

Hunter, you’re a writer after my own heart. Quirky too say the least. You think like you swing like you throw. Weird….but it works!!! Don’t change a thing.

Mr. Pence, you never cease to amaze!

No wonder you’re my favorite Giant, Brandon Brandon Brandon!

Solid stuff off the blogging bench!! I started writing to have a productive outlet for my ptsd(US Army, retired). The Brandon blog may be my favorite now!! Keep it fresh, fellas!!!

what does buster feel about being a baby brandon? haha.

Brandon Pence you need you OWN blog!!!

Hilarious! Ya gotta have your own blog …ill be 1st to subscribe

Oh, please, do your own blog, Hunter-Brandon. You are hilarious. We would love to hear how that mind of yours works. :) Thanks for making me laugh out loud. I scared a couple of people walking by my office.

I worry about the Panda. Please do something to cheer him up. Abuelita (Brandon)

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Reblogged this on THE LIGHTER SIDE OF SPORTS and commented:
“Bumgarner’’ is Arabic for Brandon.

U R ODD

Reblogged this on EATING ALONE IN PUBLIC and commented:
Hunter needs his own blog. ASAP. This is absolute treasure!

Awesome blog. jy favorite part…
Baby Brandon!

Okay, Brandon Brandon Brandon, I’m adding my vote to everybody else … please do a blog!! You’re a natural, BBB!!

This is amazing. I’m in tears

You tickled me and my husband with your blog. We love all our Brandons that’s what keeps us fans going, love our GIANTS!
And our ” Home Run Hunter”.

Hahahaha!!!!!! I love all the Brandons-new or old, Brandon and non-Brandons!

saw 3 of your 5 home runs in Scottsdale, my man. in my book we call you Home Run Hunter, when we aren’t calling you Brandon. What a blast of fun this season has already been. Keep up the Great Work and have more and more fun. GO GIANTS!

Reblogged this on Le Gallery and commented:
#TogetherWeAreBrandon

You guys should have Timmy join in on your blog someday..one wouldn’t hurt..👍 #TogetherWe’reBRANDON ✊

If I were having a baby this season, his name would have to be Brandon! However, since my “baby” turns 30 this year, I’m NOT starting over just to jump on the Brandon bandwagon. I was on business travel this week so I missed the opening games. However, I gave my Wed night tickets to my daughter and her boyfriend with the condition that they give me one of the Pence bobbleheads! Go Giants!

This was wonderful.

Why does this make me think of that scene in Spartacus?

Best blog ever! Brandon C & Brandon B we love you, love this blog, and now thanks to Brandon P we have more Brandons to love. GO TEAM BRANDON! ♢♢♢♢

Brandon, you are hilarious!

Here’s 2 of 3.

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To Hunter. I want to say thank you for introducing me to Paleo. I have to say that I feel so much better. I wake up in the morning feeling GOOD! So, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
GO GIANTS!

PS Check out huntersoakvineyard.com we named it this BEFORE you came to play for the Giants but still kinda funny. .we joke we are going to send you a bottle. Can you drink wine on the Paleo?

“Posey had not yet matured enough for a beard”- this made me laugh so hard. I love “laser swag” as well. Lasers are cool. Giant robots that shoot lasers are also cool. I agree that you should have your own blog. High five.

Hunter AKA Brandon- you are too funny! Please start writing your own blog . Very clever!! :)

And Christine is Irish for Brandon. Can I join the team?

It’s like that scene in “Being John Malkovich” only all the Brandons just keep saying “Brandon. Brandon? Brandon! Brandon.”

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